Marie Lansley, a 36-year-old who recently relocated to San Francisco for a new job, is exploring the dating scene with an open mind and a unique approach. In her quest for a partner, Lansley has turned to artificial intelligence, utilizing AI chatbots as de facto dating coaches and relationship advisors. Although she finds the efficiency of AI appealing, she expresses skepticism about its ability to foster genuine chemistry in romantic relationships, stating, "AI is great at making dating more efficient. But the chemistry that’s always going to be analog."
The adoption of AI in dating varies among users, with many employing the technology in different ways. Some individuals seek assistance from AI matchmaking services, while others utilize AI tools to enhance their dating profiles. However, the most prevalent use seems to be in drafting messages to potential matches and interpreting incoming communications. Lansley alternates between OpenAI's ChatGPT and Anthropic's Claude, while others explore chatbots like Elon Musk's Grok and Google's Gemini for dating advice.
Dating coach Carey Gaynes commends the emerging role of AI in romance, comparing Claude to Cyrano de Bergerac, the literary character famous for writing love letters on behalf of another. She acknowledges that using a chatbot can feel like employing a voice that isn't one's own. Gaynes also shares the concerns of many daters—overreliance on AI could diminish personal creativity and authenticity in relationships.
AI's influence extends to both initiating and concluding conversations in dating. For instance, Dani Cohen, a 27-year-old entrepreneur, prefers receiving AI-generated messages when ending a short-term relationship, as it feels more considerate than being ghosted. She believes that any tool facilitating better communication is beneficial, even if it comes from an AI source.
Despite the growing acceptance of AI in dating, skepticism remains prevalent among some users. Clara Sullivan, a 22-year-old student, asserts that she would be put off if she discovered a potential partner relied on AI for messaging. "I think it’s really scary how reliant people are on it," she says, raising concerns that reliance on chatbots stifles creative thinking and genuine connection.
Public sentiment reflects these apprehensions. A 2025 Pew Research Center survey revealed that 53% of U.S. adults believe AI would deteriorate creative thinking abilities, while half of the participants expressed concern that AI could negatively impact meaningful relationship formation.
The integration of AI into the dating landscape appears inevitable, as many dating apps have already begun incorporating AI into their features. For instance, Tinder has implemented an AI-driven feature called Chemistry to suggest profile matches aligned with users' interests. Hinge has introduced AI-powered conversation starters, and Bumble is shifting towards AI matchmaking methods. Despite mixed reactions to this shift, Bumble CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd insists that their developments aim to enhance the human experience in relationships, not diminish it.
Some individuals, like Mohammed Nizami, 23, resist leveraging AI for their dating lives. Nizami emphasizes the importance of authentic connections in romantic relationships, voicing concern that reliance on chatbots introduces barriers rather than fostering genuine interaction. He remarks that while AI might offer comfort, it may not provide the strongest advice for personal matters.
As AI's role in dating continues to grow, some observers find this trend somewhat disheartening. Jake Clay, a 30-year-old content creator, articulates that outsourcing vital aspects of personal life to AI feels like a sad reflection on contemporary society. Although he appreciates AI alleviating some burdens, he considers it a "Catch-22," suggesting that it undermines the sacredness of human connection in the dating process.
