According to relationship experts, demonstrating romance on Valentine's Day does not require traditional gifts such as heart-shaped boxes of chocolates or expensive dinners. Instead, therapists emphasize the importance of small, meaningful acts that reveal a partner's significance in one's life.
Romance is personalized; what feels romantic can differ greatly among individuals. Some may cherish simple gestures like holding hands, while others appreciate humor through funny texts or thoughtful acts like preparing coffee in bed. Traci Lee, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Dallas, asserts that establishing good habits for expressing love early in a relationship can foster intimacy as it evolves.
As relationships mature, the ways in which couples express romance may change. Lee notes that early romantic gestures might be less demanding, but responsibilities such as parenting can shift priorities. Gabrielle Gambrell, a New Yorker married for seven years, believes that keeping romance alive requires ongoing effort. She stresses the significance of continuous dating, maintaining a mandatory date night that rejuvenates their relationship by reinforcing what truly matters to them.
Valentine's Day can create unrealistic expectations driven by social pressures and cultural portrayals of romance. To alleviate this burden, open communication is crucial. Lee advises against assuming partners can read one another’s minds, emphasizing that romance does not need to be spontaneous. Gambrell, who identifies as a planner, typically initiates discussions about plans for February 14 days in advance, avoiding disappointments that may arise from assumptions or comparisons with other couples' celebrations.
Clarence Smith IV, a middle school teacher and content creator in Phoenix, remains a staunch advocate for traditional expressions of chivalry to convey respect for his girlfriend. He notes that small, thoughtful gestures often garner significant appreciation, although some view his gentlemanly behavior as outdated.
While some experts recommend creating traditions around significant occasions, others advocate for everyday rituals that contribute to a relationship's foundation. Lee frequently shares an analogy in counseling: apologizing with a dozen roses can be lovely, but consistently giving a single rose over 12 days expresses loyalty and dedication. She encourages her clients to consider small, daily actions that demonstrate support for their partner's needs.
Gambrell finds that gift-giving is her preferred love language, where even small tokens like scratch-off lottery tickets or stationery can deeply touch her. Such gestures serve as reminders that her partner is thinking of her. Smith believes that regardless of relationship experience, one should not hesitate to express love in their unique manner—doing so is always rewarding.
This nuanced understanding of romance challenges the notion of grand gestures, highlighting that love can be cultivated through everyday interactions. By focusing on meaningful expressions and avoiding societal pressures, couples can forge deeper connections and sustain romance throughout their relationship.
